I am Heartbroken

My heart is broken and I don't know what to do, my husband tells me that we must go on. He says that she has made her choices and we can no longer help her. I can't do it , I will always help her. I am the mother of a crack addict. It is the worst thing in the world! This drug consumes those you love and drives them over the edge, she has done things to people that I somehow feel responsible for. Maybe it the belief that I have in her that she is a good person, but when she craves the drug everything good goes away. Why?? I just want to know WHY? Please God help her in these coming days, please help her to feel relief from her conscience let her live free again.
Please release the evil thoughts from her thinking, I don't ask for much in this life, but this I ask, help our hearts to heal. Especially Jennifer and Jared who have had such close contact with her in these past few months. And those she has hurt please help them to forgive her as she needs help, for this I pray Amen

Happy Days are here again

Well now that I know that the whole world reads what I write I will be a little more discreet! (lol)
Anyways, Daddy got the job!! I hope he likes it and can handle it, but I think after driving a dump truck for the last 5 months 11 hours a day for peanuts, he can handle anything! He still has hopes of starting his own business up again some day, but for now we will do what we have to do! Sometimes it seems as if we are the only ones that have been stricken down by this economy but I guess others are hurting also! Anyway, things are looking up it seems, I am so looking forward to your visit, I got to thinking though, Jen I guess your not going to make Kyle's wedding or Cody's birthday, Jodie was waiting till you guys got here to have a little party at hunter springs for Cody's birthday on Sunday, and Kyle's wedding is Saturday evening, oh well, I guess you have a lot of people to see in such a short time. Why don't you guys stay 2 weeks? Then maybe you will have time with everyone? C'mon, see if you can! Hope I get the pool clean in time, haven't had it up and running for about 3 weeks, just trying to save on the elec bill lately, got a 335.00 bill last month and almost fell over!! But there's always the river!! Would love to get out on the river, haven't done that in awhile either. Love you all

The year is halfway gone!

Well here it is July and the year is halfway over, to me that is a good thing! This has been a tough one so far and will be glad to have it in my past! I do have HOPE, for if it weren't for those 4 little letters I don't think I could go on! Funny thing is, a lot has been going on in my life, but I cannot even put it into words, the reason I think that might be is that I have been trying to erase these things from my memory, maybe that's the key to happiness, just erase the bad stuff!Anyways, I really look forward to seeing you guys and hopefully we can have a stress free visit. When are you all coming down, I have forgotten the dates, maybe we can do something fun. Oh yeah, last week me and Roger took the kids to Hunter Springs the day Jodie went into the hospital, he said to me "Mom, let's just get out of here and try and have some fun" I didn't feel like doing anything but crying, but I took his advice and we loaded up some snacks, the kids grabbed a few cousins and headed to the springs. We really needed that, Roger can be a wise kid sometimes! I love him dearly! There was only one problem, 2 days later I broke out in chigger bites all over my upper legs and bottom area! Only me! I stayed up itching for 3 nights!! But I guess it was worth it. And one more thing, don't ask me how, but I also have a spider bite about the size of my pinkie in my crack.(yep, that ONE!!) Your Dad thinks it is hillarious, but I think it's hillarious when he has to put the medicine on it !!(LOL) I told him there was no way I was going to a doctor so he better do something!! Anyways, I love you all very much, give the kidds hugs and kisses for me. Love, Mom

A Mother's Pain

The pain I am feeling right now is undescribable, to have my arm cut off would not compare to the pain in my heart right now. My daughter Jamie was sentenced to 15 years in prison yesterday. I have a hard time putting my head around this thought. What can I do? Where do I start? I do not know right now but I know that I have to do something! This has been a possibility for a year or so now, but it never seemed that it would come to pass. It all seems so unfair to me, Jamie has been working so hard with the help of her sister and brother-in-law to make her life good again, all I can think of now is that she will give up and feel defeated and will not want to go forward. I can understand why , because it seems as if it has all been done for nothing, but I want her to realize that this is the true test, that God will help her through this, I just know that he will because he knows her heart, just as I do. I have always known that Jamie was good inside even when her actions said otherwise. I will never give up on her and I pray with all of my heart and soul that she does not give up either. We will get through this, there is hope, there must be some reason God has allowed this to happen, I do not know why nor may I ever know, but what I do know is this, We all need God more than ever, please Jamie, do not waiver in your faith, lean on him as he is there for you, he will hold you up and help along the way. I love you with all of my heart and will help in any way that I can. Love, Mom

Yard Sale Tomorrow

It is now 12:22 a.m. I am getting ready to have a yard sale tomorrow! It was a last minute idea! Here lately most of my ideas are just that, Last Minute, but like I always say ,I will be rid of some clutter and have a few more dollars in my pocket than I have now , so that cannot be a bad thing!Today I got a little spring fever and got out in my yard and got some plants in the ground. I have been ever so slowly getting the yard work done. I have a small vegetable garden going, well maybe not so small, I planted 16 Tomato plants (lol) for those of you that know me, you will know that I love my homegrown tomatoes and want to cry when I pick the last ones!!They are sooo good!Last year I made my own salsa and it turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself! Anyway, I am a newby to blogging so bear with me and lets see where this takes us?